I submitted a story to the New Yorker.

I know you’ve been wondering about this since my original post…scratch that, and substitute ‘doubt’ for’ know’…but I’m going to tell you anyway. I love the genre. It’s mostly about plot and character, and so am I. I don’t think anyone will call the style unique and groundbreaking, (unless you count the overuse of the single quote, ellipses and parentheses). 

I am now having to reformat a 69,000 word novel, because a total idiot told me how to do it, and she was wrong, and I am never taking her advice again. OK, I admit it. That idiot was me.

I tried to include a photo of my toe in the last post. I couldn’t do it, which is just as well. Body makeup does not work on a toe, which greatly resembles a ‘Before’ pic in a nail salon.

So, I promised I would only post twice the same day if I got published. Well, I did. My short story, ‘The Toe,’ will appear in the Spring issue of Greensilk Journal.  http://www.thegsj.com/home2.html

This is my first installment in a number of insightful, emotionally charged, yet sometimes fanciful, posts about query letters.   I hate ’em.

The very best advice I ever got about writing came from the late Oscar Hijuelos. Don’t expect anything cute or funny in this post. His early death was a terrible loss. He was talking to me about studying writing at City U. Some of his former classmates couldn’t understand why he had become successful, when they hadn’t. He said, “The answer is, I write.”

If you want excellent advice from an agent, you should go to https://www.facebook.com/agentkristin, which is where much of Kristin Nelson’s excellent advice resides. I stopped visiting it for awhile, because early on I sent her one of the most mortifyingly stupid query letters ever written, and I was terrified she might quote it. It featured a small portion of a manuscript that was seriously not completed, despite my unwavering conviction that it was. At times like that, I wish my name were Carol Swenson, because she would forget it sooner. BTW, she was very kind and the form rejection letter did not contain the words ‘mortifyingly stupid.’

Anybody who says they are looking for fiction that is ‘socially relevant,’ or ‘pushes the boundaries of fiction.’ 1. I save ‘social relevance’ for my op ed pieces and letters to the editor (Google me. I gotta bunch of ’em). 2. I don’t want to push any boundaries. I just want to tell a good story.  

From here on out I will only submit my short stories to publications that pay at least the semi-pro rate. That would be between 1 and 4.9 cents per word. I am not quitting my day job, which pays slightly less.