Stay out of my office, madwoman.

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A madwoman has been in my office. There are piles of paper that have no logical reason to be in the same stack. There are scraps of paper and empty envelopes on the floor. Reusable bags filled with random, sometimes unidentifiable, objects make it difficult to move around. Why are there three empty coffee mugs on my desk? Oh, wait, that madwoman is me.

Say what?

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Here is what I have learned by reading advice from writing teachers.

1. Never use italics

2. Italics are good

3. Find different words for ‘said,’ e.g.,growl, whimper, hiss

4. Said’ is much better than using artificial words, like growl and hiss.

5. Big blocks of text are better that small ones

6. Small blocks of texts are better than big ones

So I am going to listen to what Lori Devoti, my wonderful teacher/editor, says, except when I disagree with her.

Twitter

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The trouble with Twitter is it makes me want to write blog posts with only 140 characters, with eliminates the possibility of any in- depth analysis.* From now on my posts will all** be loaded with content.

*Do not make any obvious jokes. I already thought of them.

**Except for this one

From the world of theatre

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Client: We need a team building activity for 80 people that lasts 60-90 minutes

Me: Sure, we can do that (I give her two ideas that will work)

Client: Sounds great. I’ll run it by the committee

Me: (to self) Oh, oh.

Client (two weeks, three references and two proposals later) The committee wants it to be done on unicycles*

Me: (Cheerfully) Oh, gosh. I think another troupe would be a better fit for that.

*Not really, but close enough

Writer’s Block

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I never get writer’s block. I get “stop writing” block.*

*And don’t tell me the world would be a better place if I did. I think my dining room would be a better place, if I did, but that’s not the same thing.