I am seeking representation for my completed
48,000, 52,000, 59,000, 63,000, 69,000, 67,000 word Young Adult Paranormal novel…
“Before you write a novel, make sure you have read at least two hundred books in that genre.” Now, I’m not saying that wouldn’t be helpful, I’m just saying that unless you have total recall of the Young Adult books you read as a young adult, you’re talking roughly 60,000 pages. I used a calculator. Honestly! At 1,000 pages a week, that’s 60 weeks. And unless you took the Evelyn Wood Speed Reading course (raise your hand if you know what I’m talking about. Now put it down. You are too old for that much exertion), you don’t have enough spare time for that. Also, you will have forgotten what you wanted to write about in the first place by the time you put pen to paper, which you are doing because you can’t remember where you left your laptop.
Yes, yes, I know. It’s LOTS not LOT’S. No more posting until the coffee kicks in. I have learned my lesson. HAH!
I have been fortunate to have met LOT’S of famous people in my life, and I plan to drop their names whenever possible. Most of our interactions were a little low on substance (reception lines), or they happened when I was 8, as when the Late, Great, Odetta had sashimi in our living room. I did not eat the sashimi, but we did tell each other jokes. WHAT’S THIS? A DEAD THIS.
Although, I thought his comments were ridiculous.
p.s. This is an edit. It doesn’t count as a second post.
I read an interview with a writing teacher in Forbes. Trust me, I don’t read Forbes. The article came up when I Googled “ridiculous things writing teachers say.” He said creative writing courses were a waste of time, because 99.5% of his students didn’t have what it takes to succeed as authors. DUH. Of course they don’t. 99.50% of all people who study art, or music or acting or ballet don’t either. That’s why we so admire the ones who do. But, unless he’s a terrible teacher (serious possibility), his students should at least end up better writers. That’s worth a lot, I think. Don’t you?
Barring a major announcement (position on NYT Best seller list), I really am going to stick to one post a day, because…damn…there goes today’s post.
When I first started writing…and, believe me, I have no idea why I did…I soon discovered that, to paraphrase the Beyond the Fringe routine, ‘Why I Became a Coal Miner Instead Of a Judge,’ what my writing lacked was EVERYTHING. Well, maybe not everything. I’m pretty good with plot and characters. So I decided to take an online course. It was not University of Phoenix (sorry, University of Phoenix grads, if any of you are reading this, which is highly unlikely), it was University of Wisconsin, the Harvard of the Midwest (except it costs a lot less). It was taught by Lori Devoti, and it was terrific and you should all visit her website, http://www.loridevoti.com and follow her blog. Anyway, I finally found my voice! I’m writing my blog in it! It’s totally absent from my Young Adult Paranormal novel! The title character has been living on a mountain since she was 10, and hasn’t exactly mastered the art of witty banter. Almost every other character is a 9th grader. I’m sure other 9th graders will find some of their banter witty, adults and people over the age of 16, not so much.
Once in awhile I’ll be sharing a ridiculous thing an agent said, but I’ll attribute it to an anonymous teacher, because calling an agent ridiculous is probably a bad idea for a writer. Sorry teachers.
I read an interview with a teacher who seemed very nice, but his advice to his students was that they should never think about the commercial potential of a novel, but only write because they have a good story to tell. Having a good story is essential, but not caring about making money from hundreds of hours of work? Seriously? I don’t know how other writers feel. Personally, I have no desire to be the George Seurat of novels. If you don’t think about the commercial potential of your book, you should remember that publishers do. If you don’t care whether anyone sees your work, you have a perfect venue. It’s called a diary, or, in my case, a blog.