THEORETICALLY GOOD, BUT NOT ESPECIALLY PRACTICAL, THINGS WRITING TEACHERS SAY

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“Before you write a novel, make sure you have read at least two hundred books in that genre.” Now, I’m not saying that wouldn’t be helpful, I’m just saying that unless you have total recall of the Young Adult books you read as a young adult, you’re talking roughly 60,000 pages. I used a calculator. Honestly! At 1,000 pages a week, that’s 60 weeks. And unless you took the Evelyn Wood Speed Reading course (raise your hand if you know what I’m talking about. Now put it down. You are too old for that much exertion), you don’t have enough spare time for that. Also, you will have forgotten what you wanted to write about in the first place by the time you put pen to paper, which you are doing because you can’t remember where you left your laptop. Image

MAJOR INFLUENCES IN MY LIFE

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I have been fortunate to have met LOT’S of famous people in my life, and I plan to drop their names whenever possible. Most of our interactions were a little low on substance (reception lines), or they happened when I was 8, as when the Late, Great, Odetta had sashimi in our living room. I did not eat the sashimi, but we did tell each other jokes. WHAT’S THIS? A DEAD THIS.ImageImage

RIDICULOUS THINGS WRITING TEACHERS SAY #2

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I read an interview with a writing teacher in Forbes. Trust me, I don’t read Forbes. The article came up when I Googled “ridiculous things writing teachers say.” He said creative writing courses were a waste of time, because 99.5% of his students didn’t have what it takes to succeed as authors. DUH. Of course they don’t. 99.50% of all people who study art, or music or acting or ballet don’t either. That’s why we so admire the ones who do. But, unless he’s a terrible teacher (serious possibility), his students should at least end up better writers. That’s worth a lot, I think. Don’t you? old-typewriter