WHY I SHOULDN’T HAVE WRITTEN A YOUNG ADULT NOVEL

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I am not a young a adult, but that’s totally irrelevant. Those of you who know me are already aware of that, and if you post my real age, the angels will weep for you, and I will delete it, anyway, so why bother?

Young adult novels and comic books were not permitted in my house when I was a kid, as they were not considered real literature. When I shared this information with the Late, Great, Donald Barthelme, he said to me “And see what you became?”

This, by the way, is a pretty good photo of him.Image

MORE ON ‘LATE, GREAT’

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I like writing about ‘late, great’ people, because ‘great’ people are usually worth writing about,Image and ‘late’ people can’t get mad at me. No, you may not use that, unless you precede it with, ‘As the great Carol Nissenson wrote.’ Once I am ‘late,’ you can do whatever you want. If I do become ‘great,’ there is the possibility someone will Google it and you’ll be discovered, so you might want to rethink that one.

RIDICULOUS THING WRITING TEACHERS SAY

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You might read a post from me under that heading once in awhile, so I would like to make it very clear that I don’t mean MY writing teacher, Lori Devoti, because she is fabulous, and you should all visit her website, http://www.loridevoti.com, and read her blog. So, Lori, if you happen to Google your name (fess up, we all do that at least once a month), and on the slight chance some spider will visit my blog, and the reference doesn’t show up so far down on the list that even you can’t be bothered to read it…well, you get the point.

BREAKING MY ONE BLOG A DAY RULE

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I got another short story accepted for publication, this time in Dual Coasts. It’s what’s known as a ‘fledgling,’ so I hope it fledges, or my story will have to find another nest. It’s called ‘Here Kitty,’ and it’s a classic tale of ‘Man Against Beast,’ except the man is a woman and the beast is a rescue kitten. It is not a children’s story, but it is funny, and I want to assure my friends that no animals were harmed in the actual writing of ‘Here Kitty.’

 

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ABOUT ‘LATE, GREAT’

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I will probably be using the term ‘late, great’ now and then, so, to clarify, if I say

1. ‘As the late, great, whoever said to me,’ I mean, whoever actually said it to me…personally.

2. ‘As I heard the late, great whoever say’ it means I was actually in the room.

Image3. You will never hear me say ‘As the late, great whoever wrote,’ because you could look that up yourself.

BUT ENOUGH OF IMPROV

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At least until a ‘too good not to self-promote’ opportunity comes along. 

Today I reached a major milestone in my possible career as a writer. I submitted a short story, and didn’t become nauseous when I pressed ‘Send.’

THE SECRET TO MY INSTANT LYRICS SUCCESS

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Yes, at last I’m going to share my secret with you! The secret that enabled me to rhyme pterodactyl with practical! Choose the important (in this case, the cute little dinosaur) at the end of the second line, and work backwards.That doesn’t make any sense, does it? Totally useless. Well, that’s how my brain works. Anyway, unless you improvise lyrics for a living, it doesn’t matter. BTW, I have finally found a decent slant rhyme for ‘purple.’  Bryn Terfel. Don’t bother using it unless you have an audience full of opera buffs.Image

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IMPROVISING LYRICS

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Most of the people in my troupe can create better characters or scene setups than I can, but I believe I can say, without fear of contradiction, that I make up the best on-the-spot lyrics. Of course, one should never contradict the director, but that’s a rule absolutely nobody in my troupe follows. So, if I’m making this up, someone is going to leave a comment. The secret of my success? Next post, unless someone else says something nice about my writing and I have to tell you about. This photo is from Oktoberfest. Four of my actors wandered the fest making up songs. I was not there, but I’m told they were quite enchanting.