Note to man at next table in my writing spot: once you’ve said ‘hello’ more than 20 times* you may safely assume the person on the other end can’t hear you now.

*Not hyperbole, alas

When I ‘zoned in’ for a moment while writing, I heard Bachianas Brasileiras no. 5 over a disco track. It was like Saturday Night Fever in Hell.

Writers, do not watch this movie.* The score will get stuck in your head and all your characters will start to sound like lovestruck Sicilian teenagers.

*I was being ironic. Watch this movie, or the angels will weep for you.