Ok, this might not actually qualify, as I don’t remember the guy’s name, but Muhammad Ali’s business manager once defended my honor on a DC-bound Amtrak train. He also gave me Ali’s autographed pic. How do I know he was actually Ali’s business manager? He was working on his taxes.

 

Writing synopses kills my synapses.

 

*At least I can still rhyme

I’m going on a short vacation soon, and I said to myself, “Self, you should take a break from writing while you’re away. You’ll be revived and refreshed when you return. Your creative juices will flow again.”

As usual, this a complete lie of heroic proportions. I’m taking a break because all I’m doing now is querying, a process so horrendous I would use any excuse not to have to write another synopsis. This would include the ever reliable, “My grandma died.” She would be approximately 130 if she hadn’t died, so of course she died…just not recently.

1. I got 3 “likes” in yesterday’s Pitmad extravaganza. For the uninitiated, this is a quarterly, or possibly biennial, or once in a century* Twitter event. You get to tweet a 140-character description of your book.** If an agent or editor is interested in seeing a few thousand more characters, you get one of those tiny hearts by your tweet.

I pitched 4 projects and two got requests. I must confess I was feeling a little like the joke about the mother who buys her son two ties. He comes to breakfast wearing one, and she says, “What’s the matter? You didn’t like the other one?”

2. Someone from South Africa visited my blog. Probably an accident.

*I’m too lazy to look it up.

**Which is expected to be a lot longer than 140 characters

So I’ve finished the first draft of my MG mystery ( hey, I’ve tried every other genre except  dystopian cookbooks). The continuity issues of the day/time variety are so aggravating, I’m thinking of inventing new days of the week* so I can insert one, as needed.

*How do we feel about Cheaterday and Fudge-it-day?

For those of you who are concerned that too little attention is being paid to other disasters (e.g. flooding in Mumbai and Bangladesh), I recommend www.directrelief.org You can direct your contribution or simply say “where needed most.” They are one of the highest rated by Charity Navigator, Forbes, and others.

Nothing funny or witty today. Just a bit about how you might help the people of Houston and beyond. Think about some of the smaller charities like the Houston Food Bank and Texas Diaper Bank. They have very few administrative expenses, so more of your gift goes to the people in need. Also, check out http://www.charitynavigator.org  They evaluate charities for effectiveness, honesty, etc.

I am happy to report that a 5 year-old of my acquaintance recently asked me if I would read her a chapter of my current WIP, a MG novel. She then made me read another 5,000 words. I have decided that her appreciation of my work means she is either brilliant, or it’s not quite sophisticated enough for a middle grade audience. I’m quite convinced it’s the former.

Got another one published, this time in the Washington Post. Maybe instead of novels I should be working on The Collected Letters to the Editor of Carol Nissenson and how you can write witty insightful non-fiction that will bring you no fame or fortune whatsoever.

As a writer, one of the questions I sometimes ask myself is, “Should my 99-year-old mother die, how many days later could I go back to writing without seeming callous and unloving?”

Corollary: I hope my mom lives long enough for my first novel to be published. I won’t mind taking a week off, then.**

 

*Probably

**She’s doing just fine, thank you. We plan to put her in our will.