Writing a book is easier than trying to condense it into 500 words. Well, almost.

So not about Al Capone. Sorry Steve. On the other hand, it is about gangsters, in a way. They didn’t have machine guns, though. Or maybe they did. I wouldn’t be surprised.

I believe it behooves me to occasionally promote excellent books by excellent authors, especially when they are not Young Adult Paranormal novels. The books in the next two posts are not like mine at all. Even an IKEA catalogue would be closer to mine. So buy them. You will enjoy them and learn a lot. You will enjoy mine, too, if it appears in book or kindle form some day, but other than an historically accurate description of courtship in 16th Century Florence (honestly), you won’t learn a whole lot.

Sometimes, in a bad way. Now I want to make it clear to any literary agent who stumbles on this I don’t mean YOU. I’m sure you’re doing everything right. As to casting directors, I wouldn’t be surprised if you aren’t doing everything right, and I don’t care if you read this, because I’m not doing auditions now, I’m running them. So there! Here’s a tiny sample of confusing, and/or incomplete, and/or “I’m sorry, but that’s not what you asked for” notices, and I waited in a locker room with 120 other anxious actors to do. That’s not totally accurate. Sometimes there were 320.

1. The notice, which asks for Singers who move,’ neglects to mention that you have to be able to do a double pirouette. 

2. The notice neglects to mention that you have be over 5’8″

3. The notice says ‘Your best 8 bars’ and neglects to add ‘in a belt voice.’

4. The notice that doesn’t tell you anything beyond ‘Male’ or ‘female.’

Tune in tomorrow to learn why queries can be like that. Or don’t bother. You’re very smart. You already figured it out. 

Read an interview with a reasonably successful author this week. She got over 300 rejections on her first novel, over 200 on her second, and then another 120 on the third before it got published. Then the other two were sold immediately. That gave me hope until I figured out how old I would be by the time my second and third novels were finished (at least they’re about 2/3 there), and I’d done 600 submissions. 

If you are old enough to remember how to spell STICK-TO-IT-TIVITY (ok, I guess that’s a hint), and which cartoon character sang about it, raise your hand. Now confess, you had to look it up, just like I did.

I was going to post yesterday as I rode on my late- as- always Amtrak train to NYC in a 1/3 full Quiet Car,  but I was too amused and distracted by the two women who decided to have a 25 minute shouting match over who had gotten to a seat first. This was punctuated by the conductor saying, “There are plenty of seats. I’ll move your luggage for you,” and a man periodically yelling, “This is the Quiet Car, you idiots!”

OK, other writers. Does it annoy you as much as it annoys me when someone else tells you “Here’s a great story you should write.”? Seriously, I don’t know the right way to punctuate that sentence, which is also annoying.